Wed_Apr_10_20:00:38_PDT_2019

I decided to go to bed without a relaxant, bad idea
ￂﾠI laid in pain from my shoulder for an hour but I was determined not to take anything
ￂﾠI still had bad sweats and this morning was no joy waking up
ￂﾠI got up at 8 and made a cup of coffee but I couldn't drink it
ￂﾠI was hot and cold, but I knew the nurses would come early today and I wanted to be showered and dressed
ￂﾠ I slowly climbed the stairs and felt terrible, Gary had to help me wash my hair
ￂﾠBreathing was painful and I was sure it was down to the shoulder
ￂﾠI wanted to lie down into a ball and sleep until the pain went
ￂﾠI managed to get back down to the living room and sat on the sofa
ￂﾠThe pains were making me feel physically sick but I couldn't face drinking anything or even taking my normal meds
The nurses arrived, took one look at me and rang my doctor
ￂﾠI didn't want them to drain as I think I am dehydrated, even though this fluid isn't helping me, drawing off would make my BP drop
ￂﾠI cancelled the physio as getting to his clinic was out of the question
ￂﾠMy doc arrived and gave an anti inflammation injection into my backside
ￂﾠHe needed somewhere with muscle to inject, he moaned my skinny bottom didn't have much either
ￂﾠThe injection sent some heat to my shoulder and it seemed to lessen the pain ￂﾠI started to feel normal and hoped this was the end of it
Lorraine arrived for a quick coffee, this gave Gary a chance to take the dogs for a run, knowing if I went downhill Lorraine could cope
ￂﾠJoyce then arrived, a little get together was forming, thankfully by then I was feeling better, a protein drink and some juice was now in my system
ￂﾠWe just got settled into a conversation when the nurses arrived back, it was decided they would drain
ￂﾠPeeling the dressing off was painful and I yelped like a wimp, they said we could leave the drain out and only change the dressing once or twice a week
ￂﾠSounds good to me
ￂﾠIt started coming out fast then slowed, a pain shot up my back and I had to stop the drain
ￂﾠWe managed 700 litres but I didn't want to continue
ￂﾠJoyce offered to massage my shoulder, which would probably help, but knowing my luck something else would go wrong, so we didn't bother
It's been a hard day, my body is still recovering from the trauma, my mind has also had a wake up call - the cancer is real, it has made my stomach swell, leading to a drain needed to be fitted
ￂﾠI am not dealing with my body trying to protect my organs by creating fluid and robbing protein and salts from ￂﾠother parts of my system
ￂﾠI can't escape to work and put this away in the corner of my mind because I am in pain
ￂﾠ I hope tomorrow will be better, I don't want to go through another morning like this one, not only does it hurt it makes Gary feel useless
ￂﾠI keep telling myself its early days and once my shoulder feels better I will cope with the other pains a lot better
Being positive is great when you don't hurt but trying to keep it going when you feel so ill doesn't work
ￂﾠI thought the cancer had won this morning and my body was getting ready to shut down
ￂﾠThankfully that wasn't the case